Wait! What?! I don't even!!!

destiel-is-my-canon:

10thdoctors-companion:

titaniumbovine:

traceexcalibur:

my favourite insults are the ones where you just take a noun and a swear and mash them together. what’s up pisscouch? how you doin’ fucktrain. hope you’re havin’ a swell day, asslamp

image

FUCK YOU I SAW THIS POST TWO DAYS AGO AND IT HAD 21 NOTES THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME

Adding accurate gifs.

Increasing note count.

The Supernatural tumblr business.

oliverqueens:

get away f rom me [x]

small-superwholockian-that-could:

ruinedchildhood:

WE DON’T TALK ABOUT THIS EVER

*ugly sobbing 

avengersonna:

draumbouy:

youraveragebadass:

Avengers Age of Ultron Sneak peak

HULKBUSTER ARMOR OH DEAR GOD
MAN DOWN
MAN FUCKING DOWN

Stop it to close

smelly-smelly-cat:

- Saturday Night Live 21x03 - David Schwimmer

thats the best thing everr

gallifrey-feels:

pansypanters:

solar-tsunami:

fuckingwhoremouth:

sheepyichigo:

kylerspears:

I’ll stop the world and smelt with you

jesus christ

Wasn’t expecting that

True love is world domination and that is beautiful

This is the best relationship to have hands down,

love is all you need to destroy your enemies

gallifrey-feels:

pansypanters:

solar-tsunami:

fuckingwhoremouth:

sheepyichigo:

kylerspears:

I’ll stop the world and smelt with you

jesus christ

Wasn’t expecting that

True love is world domination and that is beautiful

This is the best relationship to have hands down,

love is all you need to destroy your enemies

A message to Peter Parker, from the future.

fuckyeahthespianpeacock:

saltheria:

yeffyaboyuice:

mythchief:

So there I was, ready to take a shower. I mean, I was dirty, a little greasy, a shower was not such a horrible idea. People take showers, amiright? Of course!
I get naked.
FULL naked.
REAL naked.
I’m talking the exact opposite reason why you ever went to your grandmother’s house.
No cookies. Blatant nudity.
That’s how folks take showers these days, right? Well, I pull back the curtain…
And there it was.
This…thing…sitting on the little soap/shower/pube shelf. Not a care in the world, like it’s been there for years. “What the fuck is that?” I think to myself.
Now, what follows is the exact pattern of thought that took me from rational human being to Sloth in 3.4 seconds.
“Is that a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit? Holy fuck that’s a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit. OMG why would someone leave that unattended. Those things are so delicious. I’m gonna eat the fuck out of it. Man, I can’t wait to see whoever left it’s face when they come back to find that someone ate their cheesy biscuit’s fuck. Ohhh boy.”
Then my brain sent a message to my arm that said, “Reach for that cheesy biscuit, bitch. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?”
As you must already know, we are all contractually bound to make a dickload of mistakes throughout our lifetime. Some of those mistakes are so big that they forever hinder our world and warrant entire chapters in our children’s history books. However, most mistakes have the dubious providence of merely haunting one’s soul and festering amidst the subconscious for always and eternity.
This was, nearly, one of those.
If my adjacency to failure could be measured, the only possible unit of measurement to appropriate it would be “baby condoms”. And no, I do not mean those horrendous papoose-like titty-cribs that the slovenly carriage their spawn around in in Wal-Mart, I mean condoms that a baby would wear.
My adjacency to failure was roughly 1 and a half Kiddie Trojans.
I’m not sure what stopped me, be it cosmic or supernatural, but it gave my brain just enough time to ask itself some rather important questions regarding this little tub treasure. Questions like:
“WHO, THE FUCK, WOULD LEAVE A CHEESY BISCUIT IN MY SHOWER?!”
And inquiries such as:
“AND WHY WERE YOU GOING TO EAT IT, MORON?!”
Seriously, was I so hungry that I would wantonly disobey all the integral conditioning and survival imprinting my parents bestowed upon me like the ever important, “Um, don’t eat that biscuit retard, you don’t know where it’s been or whose it is and also you found it in the shower.” in order to satisfy something so benign as a munchie?
That, I’m sorry to say, was pretty much my reality.
An early morning introspective psychological evaluation of a sad, hungry, naked man who almost ate a bar of soap.

OMG ITS BACK

This shit needs to be published.

This is going in the monologue section and I’m not even sorry.

fuckyeahthespianpeacock:

saltheria:

yeffyaboyuice:

mythchief:

So there I was, ready to take a shower. I mean, I was dirty, a little greasy, a shower was not such a horrible idea. People take showers, amiright? Of course!

I get naked.

FULL naked.

REAL naked.

I’m talking the exact opposite reason why you ever went to your grandmother’s house.

No cookies. Blatant nudity.

That’s how folks take showers these days, right? Well, I pull back the curtain…

And there it was.

This…thing…sitting on the little soap/shower/pube shelf. Not a care in the world, like it’s been there for years. “What the fuck is that?” I think to myself.

Now, what follows is the exact pattern of thought that took me from rational human being to Sloth in 3.4 seconds.

“Is that a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit? Holy fuck that’s a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit. OMG why would someone leave that unattended. Those things are so delicious. I’m gonna eat the fuck out of it. Man, I can’t wait to see whoever left it’s face when they come back to find that someone ate their cheesy biscuit’s fuck. Ohhh boy.”

Then my brain sent a message to my arm that said, “Reach for that cheesy biscuit, bitch. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?”

As you must already know, we are all contractually bound to make a dickload of mistakes throughout our lifetime. Some of those mistakes are so big that they forever hinder our world and warrant entire chapters in our children’s history books. However, most mistakes have the dubious providence of merely haunting one’s soul and festering amidst the subconscious for always and eternity.

This was, nearly, one of those.

If my adjacency to failure could be measured, the only possible unit of measurement to appropriate it would be “baby condoms”. And no, I do not mean those horrendous papoose-like titty-cribs that the slovenly carriage their spawn around in in Wal-Mart, I mean condoms that a baby would wear.

My adjacency to failure was roughly 1 and a half Kiddie Trojans.

I’m not sure what stopped me, be it cosmic or supernatural, but it gave my brain just enough time to ask itself some rather important questions regarding this little tub treasure. Questions like:

“WHO, THE FUCK, WOULD LEAVE A CHEESY BISCUIT IN MY SHOWER?!”

And inquiries such as:

“AND WHY WERE YOU GOING TO EAT IT, MORON?!”

Seriously, was I so hungry that I would wantonly disobey all the integral conditioning and survival imprinting my parents bestowed upon me like the ever important, “Um, don’t eat that biscuit retard, you don’t know where it’s been or whose it is and also you found it in the shower.” in order to satisfy something so benign as a munchie?

That, I’m sorry to say, was pretty much my reality.

An early morning introspective psychological evaluation of a sad, hungry, naked man who almost ate a bar of soap.

OMG ITS BACK

This shit needs to be published.

This is going in the monologue section and I’m not even sorry.

optimisam:

I know the feeling.

I love the fact Sam trusts Jody enough to actually be honest here. How often is it Sam would even dare say something as negative as “touch and go” about how he’s feeling? This is absolutely beautiful. This is so freeing to see, okay.

unitedkingdom-orgy:

pansexualpagan:

silentdimension:

The name’s Mickey. Mickey Smith. Defending the earth.

And that’s what I call character development.

WHY DON’T MORE PEOPLE TALK ABOUT MICKEY FUCKING SMITH.

oropherrrrr:

thraaaaaaaaaaaaandyyyyyyyyyyyyy:

leggy-and-thrandy:

thraaaaaaaaaaaaandyyyyyyyyyyyyy:

oropherrrrr:

LEGOLAS NO

sherlock-undercover:

The comedians one up on each other. Colbert can barely contain himself in the second to last gif. {x}

tsuki-chibi:

pleatedjeans:

Cat Owners Will Understand (24 Pics)

So it’s universal is what you’re saying

shinefromwithin:

renswackyride:

i didnt even fucking tag this

replace that with pizza and that’s the magical power i want

shinefromwithin:

renswackyride:

i didnt even fucking tag this

replace that with pizza and that’s the magical power i want

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

loosetoon:

Early 70’s behind the scenes of Sesame Street with the Muppets.